The sacral response is my Inner Authority, what I’m here to trust to make correct decisions in life, but how to recognize it? I mean, it’s not just a matter of hearing myself coming up with a “huh - uh” or “uh - un”, as that might as well be in response to what I previously figured out in my mind, albeit unconsciously. That’s why I don’t like being asked closed questions, particularly if the question’s topic brings up a feeling of discomfort or nervousness.
As an example, if my man requested me now to go to the pharmacy and buy something to heal his cold, my answer would be "uh - un" (no). However, considering that I stopped going out alone many years ago, how can I know whether that response truly expresses my unavailability in that sense rather than the way I feel to the thought of being outside alone? This is a doubt I'm carrying since the beginning of my HD experiment. Well, the response I had yesterday morning when my man asked me a question on the dishes in the dishwasher was a real sacral response and it was so amazing to witness. It left me breathless.
Actually, the man I live with doesn’t know how to use a dishwasher, thus it’s always up to me loading or emptying it. Considering that I’m used to pre-rinse dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, and I only turn it on when it’s full, it happens, now and then, that I forget when dishes are dirty or clean, especially because, when I’m in a hurry, I empty it only partially. So, when my man wants to know if the dishes are dirty or clean, pretty often I need to recall what I did before answering his question.
Nevertheless, when my man yesterday morning asked me about the dishes in the dishwasher, as soon as he finished talking, I heard this “huh - uh” getting out of me. Imagine that he pressed the switch and immediately after light was on. Oh my, that sacral response came out so quickly and it felt so impersonal, objective, almost beyond awareness. It came out before anything else, before recalling what happened and being aware of what he was asking about. It felt impersonal and objective, rather than personal and subjective, as I had no active role in it, despite it came out of me. In other words, I experienced myself being a vessel for it, and that was the first time after five years in my experiment.